it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Houston, we have a squirter
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
