drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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