P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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