I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
