You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
