its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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