lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
