Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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