Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no you cant smoke seaweed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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