i just google imaged poop.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
