I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
