The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
