yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
