That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
