like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize