Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I faked an abortion last night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything