I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back