Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company