i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
please don't ironically join a cult
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