glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
