i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
