told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
