We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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