genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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