Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize