that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
