Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
