...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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