We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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