i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
