My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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