I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
