And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
