You're so nebulous sometimes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
