In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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