It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize