out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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