i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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