Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
