Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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