She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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