Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
