i just google imaged poop.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
