ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
