You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
