Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
