omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
operation harelip BJ is a go
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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