You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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