my sisters under your porch take her home
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
