I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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