you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
