he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
