I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
