she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
