I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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