you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
