Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
