he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
